When we’re looking to make changes in our lives to grow, expand or move ahead in any way, we set big, lofty goals for ourselves. We work to achieve big things and set milestones along the way. We might want to:
- Build a successful solo business
- Do some good inner work and self-development
- Have enough money saved in the bank for a much-needed getaway
- Work out regularly and get back into shape
As we’re working toward our goals, every now and then, we’ll sit back, look around and measure ourselves on our progress. We look at others and compare ourselves to where they’re at. We judge our progress based on friends, family, co-workers or people who are online that we’ve never even met.
We can often get down on ourselves because we’re not ‘where we’re supposed to be’ or we aren’t as far along as we ‘should’ be. And then we feel shitty. We can convince ourselves that our goals simply can’t be achieved. We give up on them or put them on the back-burner. We wonder, “what’s the point?”
It’s important to understand that things take time. Big changes and progress don’t happen overnight. It’d be easier if everything just fell into place, here and right now. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just snap our fingers and *poof* everything would be done?
Without putting in the work, without having a-ha moments and breakthroughs along the way, we wouldn’t even begin to fully understand why we need to make the changes our soul is calling for and those changes would never stick.
There’s far more beauty in the process than the outcome. We might think that once we do X or achieve Y, our lives will be complete and everything will be better for it. But more often than not, when we get to where we’re headed – when we reach that destination – we’re hit with the reality that either there’s still more we need to do or that getting to where we thought we wanted to be really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. We’re left thinking, “now what?”
When we compare ourselves to others, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.
People progress differently. We have different sets of circumstances, different ways in which we see the world. We can’t expect to arrive at a certain place at the same time as another person. Worse yet, when we look at others and compare our chapter 1 to their chapter 12, there’s no reason why we wouldn’t feel crappy for it.
So rather than beat ourselves up for where we’re at, sometimes you gotta stop, take a deep breath and look at how far you’ve come. While you may not be exactly where you want to be, I can bet that you’ve done a lot of work in the process and if you’re not validating yourself along the way, you’re missing out on the best part of the ride.
Much love, XXX