All Posts By

Corinne K.

Authenticity Relationship Spirituality

Letter From Your Future

March 24, 2016

Dear Human,

Remember how your entire being ached after you lost in love? You vowed you couldn’t possibly ever open up again in the same way. You guarded yourself and tread carefully with matters of the heart. But I was there to give you time to heal, distance to gain perspective and strength to move on.

Remember when you would wake up restless in the middle of the night, your mind racing as you worried about your mounting bills? You felt like you were missing out, lacking something and struggling to survive. Yet you always had a roof over your head, solid ground under your feet and food on the table. You may not have had the biggest or fanciest house or lavish gourmet bites but I was always there to protect, support and nourish you.

Remember when you doubted that your body intuitively knows what it needs? When you dismissed how energizing it can be to stretch your muscles, walk, eat healthy, and breathe deeply. When you could see sickness and lethargy creeping in and instead of heeding the signs, you moved through your days as if nothing was wrong. When you could feel your thoughts reflecting your scattered energy. Yet here you are. You woke up this morning, you walked to work. You didn’t have to ask your body to get you to where you needed to be. You just got there.

There was a time when you felt like you had to have everything figured out. Here’s the thing: you can’t possibly have everything figured out and you’re not supposed to. Your experiences, the things that happen to and around you that make you feel something in the moment, and how you move through them all – that matters.

There was a time when you were obsessed about “finding your passion and purpose” in this world. Passion. Purpose. Those are just labels you use that actually complicate things that can be so very simple.

Does it feel good? Does it light you up? Does it make you spring from bed in the morning to check in and work? Do you fall naturally into flow and lose track of all time as you dive into it? Do you love it? Then go do it.

You don’t need to “find” anything. Your passion and purpose aren’t elusively hiding under a rock. You just need to be and allow things to unfold naturally. Recognize what feels right and trust that the more you make choices based on how you feel, the better you’ll get at knowing where to focus your attention and what to let go of. Don’t try to figure everything out. Just feel everything. Be. Love.

There will be times when you break down and question it all. There will be moments when hearing that ‘everything happens for a reason’ will positively infuriate you in the face of death, loss, sickness and struggle. But I promise you – in even your lowest moments and darkest times – when you think that you’re alone and there’s no rhyme or reason, there’s an invisible thread connecting your experiences resulting in the person you are today. And you’re fucking beautiful.

The point is to try not to busy your mind with over-analyzing and worrying about possible outcomes. Experience your unique experiences. Sit with the emotions. Refrain from judgement. Move through it all. Do everything with love.

Comparison will only rid you of your own personal growth and happiness.

And then.
One day.
You’ll find yourself in some place new, doing something that feels like home. And when your mind is at peace with yourself, your choices and your surroundings, I promise you that you’ll begin to see that invisible thread. And it won’t be about understanding it but rather, accepting it. Being thankful for it. And knowing that the less you try and the more you just be yourself – kinks, contradictions and all – the more things will continue to fall into place.

With mad, mad love,

The Universe XX

Creativity Learning Wellness

Three Metrics I Use To Measure Success

March 14, 2016

I can pinpoint two pivotal moments in my life when I realized that I had to redefine what success means to me and what I thought I needed to be successful.

The first time was when I sat my husband down on the couch to tell him that I wanted a divorce.

If you had asked me to bust out my ‘what I need to be successful’ checklist, I would’ve ticked off every box. Married and settled? Check. Great career and income? Check. House and car? Check and check. But something was missing. I was exhausted all the time, uninspired, unhappy and my body was getting sick.

So I got that divorce and worked at an advertising company for the next 6 years. When it was time to move on, I moved on. When I quit my job, I announced that I was leaving to start my own business. I became the poster child for everyone I knew who hated their job, their boss or their coworkers. I was ‘that girl’ who flipped the bird to ‘the man’ and decided to try things on her own terms.

Over the next 3 years, I was speaking, creating, coaching, consulting with big companies and solopreneurs, and facilitating workshops and seminars. I was doing things I never thought I would that scared the living shit out of me. But I was also riding a financial roller coaster. In the beginning of my business, I was making good money. And then came September 2015 when I had to restructure my business to suit my lifestyle. At that point, I was barely making enough money to pay for groceries and was watching my hard-earned savings slowly disappear.

And again, I found myself tired and burnt out from trying everything I could to make things work. That’s when I decided to start looking for a job.

I felt like a fraud. And a big fat failure.

But I also realized that I had never been more successful in my life.

And that’s because I chucked that stupid list I had of things I thought I should be doing and labels that didn’t suit me. Instead, I decided to move with 3 metrics to measure my success.

1. Am I comfortable with being uncomfortable. There’s a saying that you need to feel the fear and do it anyway and I totally agree. Often the things that we’re most afraid of are the things that we really need to do. But I don’t subscribe to the philosophy that I need to conquer my fear. I think fear can be a healthy thing and I know myself – if I’m not scared of something, I’m not challenging myself and eventually I’ll get bored. So instead, I strive to be comfortable with the discomfort. That means that I’m not flipping out on the people I love the most when I’m stressed about money, business or how things are going (or not). It also means that I’m good to myself in the process and rolling with the punches – choosing not to close when things don’t go my way.

2. Am I being flexible. If I’ve learned anything about creativity and business, it’s that for every single thing I’ve tried that works – everything that produces the outcome I’m hoping for – I do ten things that flop. And that’s ok. Rather than trying to force things to turn out a certain way or thinking there’s one way to do something, I try to be flexible and understand when to change course. If something clearly isn’t working, I need to be open to other possibilities in life.

3. Am I going with my gut. Every time I’ve had that nagging feeling in my gut to not do something or connect with someone in particular and I’ve forced myself to do it anyway, I look back and think “shit. I knew that wouldn’t work.” I’m not talking about feeling the fear here, I’m talking about the nagging feeling that something is off. When I move towards the things that I know deep down will help me grow, the things that inspire me, give me goosebumps and feel good, I find that I’m way more successful. And more often than not, those things open doors to other opportunities I didn’t even know existed.

I think we need to redefine success for ourselves every so often. We need to check in and see if the things we’re chasing – the things we think we really want the most – are the things we really need.

We need to understand that sometimes success is a straight line from A to B. And sometimes, we need to zig and zag, take a step forward and two steps back. And sometimes success in life happens only when we go full circle.

I think we need to give ourselves permission to try new things. We need to forgive ourselves when those things don’t work out the way we thought and we want to default to negativity. And we need to celebrate when things go well.

We need to understand that we’re all on the same boat – we all doubt ourselves sometimes. We all have fears. We’re all just trying to figure things out for ourselves. And nobody has it all figured out.

Success happens – and we can consider ourselves successful – when we do our best and trust that our best is enough.

Creativity Learning Lifestyle Spirituality

The Other ‘F Word’

March 8, 2016

Depending on who you ask, the word ‘feminist’ denotes both positivity and negativity. Strength and struggle. Acceptance and resistance.

Imagine that you’re a 9 year old girl and your family has sold your hand in marriage to a man you’ve never met for the price of a goat.

Imagine that you never made it past your second birthday since your parents decided to end your life because you are a girl.

Imagine that you’re expected to hole yourself up at home for a week every month because feminine hygiene products aren’t available at the corner store.

This is why we still need International Women’s Day.

Not because we need to place women on a higher pedestal than men. Not because women need to conquer the world and overthrow male power and dominance.

We celebrate because we’re reminded of the strides we’ve made toward gender equality. We celebrate because ‘his’tory is slowly being written to include a paradigm shift towards a fusion of masculine and feminine energy.

But we also need to take a moment to pause. While in some ways we’ve moved forward, in many ways and places far from our modern first-world backyards, women and girls undergo inhumane treatment unlike any we could ever possibly understand.

Gender inequality has been deeply ingrained and won’t disappear overnight. But we can start in our own backyards, by raising our consciousness to understand that we can begin to make a difference by taking a stand.

1. Are you a woman? Vote. In many places around the world, women have no voice. While I do believe that politics are corrupt, today I remind myself that I still have the opportunity to make my voice heard.

2. Donate your time or money. Pick a cause that resonates with you. It might be donating time or money to a local woman’s shelter. Find a charity that supports women’s freedom in a remote part of the world. Every small contribution adds up to a big difference.

3. Start a conversation. Ask a woman in your life about her experiences. Her answers may shock you. Speak to a young person in your life about gender equality and sexual consent. The future is young.

4. Support female artists. Make an effort to seek out and support female writers, musicians and artists. Without an audience, their voices will fade into the background.


 

I can envision a world where our young girls instinctively know that they’re powerful mavens and change-makers.

A world where women naturally make the income equivalent to a man doing the same job.

A world where a woman isn’t publicly and ruthlessly shamed for speaking out about abuses against her own body.

A world where those abuses are no longer tolerated in the first place.

Where she can freely choose when and if she gets married and has children.

Where she is free to experience and explore pleasure, desire and her innate strength without being hatefully labelled as a ‘slut’, ‘whore’ or ‘bitch’.

Where the feminine body, energy, creative power and emotional currency are respected, appreciated and celebrated for the ability to shift, nurture and create.

Today is International Women’s Day.

Let’s take one step closer to a world with more love and less hate.

Lifestyle Wellness

7 Little Big Things I Do During My Day

March 1, 2016

There’s no shortage of advice available about what we can do to better our lives. From exercising more and watching less TV, to eating better and working less – there are easily a million things we could do every single day to feel good.

But really. Who’s got time for all that?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we should chuck our ambitions to feel healthier, live longer and do more of what we love. I’m a huge proponent of understanding what we need to live fully and going out to do those things, but let’s be real. We get busy. Priorities shift. Things change and sometimes unpredictably so and often – beyond our control.

Sometimes we don’t want to do the big things we know will make us feel better because well, we’re not really feeling up to doing them in the first place. In this case, simplicity is bliss. Doing small things to feel good makes it easier to tackle the big stuff. Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting our heads back in a place where we can create the momentum to get moving on our bigger goals.

Here are 7 little things I do to make big shifts in how I feel.

1. Cut the drama. Sometimes when I’m plugging away on my MAC, working through stuff in my head, getting shit done, even sitting to meditate, my face can reflect a level of intensity that’s a wee bit dramatic. When I catch myself doing my “I’m so super busy, nobody wreck my flow” face, I crack a real, honest-to-goodness smile. There’s a science to smiling. Once smiling muscles in our face contract, there’s a positive feedback loop that kicks in and our brain reinforces feelings of joy. You can actually create happiness in a situation where you might not have been feeling too peppy and I can feel the difference instantly.

2. Pick your battles. We all have things that trigger us. When someone does or says something that I overreact to (and I know I’m overreacting because I can feel a strong, visceral emotion bubbling to the surface) I check in with myself. I ask myself if how I’m feeling is really matching the words spoken or actions taken in the situation. I can’t control what others say, how they say things or what they do. What I can control is how I react to a situation. If it ain’t worth stressing out about (as most things aren’t) then I make the choice to lighten up. We associate our own meanings to everything we come into contact with. I can pick my battles and some just aren’t worth fighting while others don’t even need to be perceived as battles at all.

3. Melt like butter. When I’m stressed out or busy, I can feel it in my body. I get a furrowed brow, my jaw gets tight and my shoulders stiffen. When I’m in the thick of things, I remind myself to imagine every little muscle in my head, jaw, neck and shoulders melting like butter. I don’t have to stop everything I’m doing or put the world on hold. I can do this while walking somewhere or before a meeting, while sitting at my desk or pouring a cup of tea. My mood changes along with the shift in my body and all of a sudden, things don’t seem so hairy anymore.

4. Conscious movement. Most of our days can be spent on auto-pilot. We get through our morning routine without giving a single thought to getting ready. We get through familiar tasks with no memory of them at all. I try to take the most mundane actions of my day – the stuff I have to do anyway – and make a conscious effort to be aware of what I’m doing. I walk barefoot around my house in the morning and notice the sensation of my feet hitting the ground and the temperature of the floor. When I’m doing tasks that are easy and can be done with little thought, I pay attention to and appreciate the details.

5. Laugh. Just like smiling, laughing is an easy thing to do. But when we’re stressed or caught up in a misunderstanding, laughing and smiling are typically on the bottom of the list of things we actually want to do. Even though that’s often when we need to the most. It always helps me to lighten up about what might otherwise feel like a tough situation and find something to laugh about instead. The ability to see things clearly and find creative solutions increases when we don’t take other things, people or ourselves too seriously.

6. Check-ins. I try to check-in with myself throughout the day. When I’m in the thick of things, I check-in to how I’m feeling and reacting to things. I find that when I’m stressed out, I often feel light-headed. My thoughts get cloudy and I don’t have the same ability to concentrate and find solutions when I’m not present to the situation. That’s when I remind myself to get grounded. If I’m sitting in a chair, I feel my body in that chair – the surface of the seat, I feel my feet on the ground and my hands on the desk or in my lap. Finding what works to get you back in the moment can do wonders to help your mind from running in circles.

7. When all else fails. I dance. Now this can get interesting when you’re working in an office or somewhere you don’t have privacy. I have no shame in admitting that I’ve busted out in a random dance move in a public washroom on more than one occasion (this woman’s got moves). And you don’t need music blasting to dance – although it definitely doesn’t hurt – the point here is to move your body. Wiggle, writhe and worm the stress out of your body, however you want to move. Your body always knows what it needs – our job is to listen kindly, trust and respond.

What small things do you do during your day to lighten the load, tune in and appreciate the day? Leave your comments below!