Why I Do What I Do

When I was in my mid-20’s, my doctor called me in for an appointment to go over my yearly exam. I thought nothing of it. As a twenty-something female, I figured I had nothing to worry about. Sure, I was feeling a little sluggish and stuff but I certainly didn’t think it was anything to write home about. I thought he’d suggest that I take some daily vitamin and all would be well in my world.

As I sat across the desk from him, I can’t say that what took place was a conversation or interaction of any sorts. He did all the talking and I did nothing but listen. He explained to me that I had abnormal test results and that if we didn’t do something about it, it would likely turn into the big ‘C’. Cancer.

The rest of the appointment was a complete blur to me as I sat across the table and saw his mouth move and caught terms like, ‘specialist’, ‘treatment’, ‘high-grade’. When he stopped talking, I thanked him for his time and told him to set up any follow-up appointments that were necessary to make the next steps. I then proceeded to my car and cried in the driver’s seat for about 5 minutes. I drove home and did what most of us do when we’re confronted with something we don’t fully understand and I googled the shit out of cancer.

As I started my search, I came across a ton of articles that ranged the gamut of what you’d expect when you search anything on the web. But I stopped when I landed on one specific article. It was about a woman and how she experienced remission from her cancer when she decided to make big changes in her life to live more true to who she was. A little voice inside told me to print the article and have it by me – there was something in there that I had to understand.

Over the course of the next two years, I was on a soul-searching mission to really look at how I had built my life. As I took an honest look, I realized that I was creating something that I didn’t recognize and forging a path for myself that wasn’t the route I wanted to go.

I was living in the ‘burbs, a year into my marriage and working as a research analyst crunching numbers all day. Now, if I liked living in the ‘burbs, if I had a happy marriage and if I enjoyed crunching numbers, I would’ve said that I was ‘living the life’. But none of these things were true. I was (and still am) a city girl, through and through. My marriage was on the rocks (to be honest, I probably shouldn’t have married this man in the first place but that’s a topic for another blog post) and I needed to be doing something more creative. By the time those two years were up, I had moved back to the city, scored a position at a creative agency and within 6 months of getting my new job, I was divorced. Of all the stressful things to take on in life, moving, starting a new job and divorcing are definitely at the top of the list.

I knew I was stuck. I knew that if I didn’t make some big changes, I would have regretted the path my life was on. But before I made those big leaps and bounds, I knew I had to start feeling better about myself and life again.

So I started to do little things every day to get back on track. For me, being stuck was about a lack of self-care. I stopped doing what I needed to feel good about things. I let myself get bogged down with a daily routine that never changed. I stopped having fun. I was making mountains out of molehills and was less and less likely to be able to deal with stressful situations without losing my mind.

And so now, I’m on a mission to get you unstuck. I want to show you how to be an active participant in your life. I want to show you that feeling rundown, anxious, exhausted and bored isn’t normal. I want you to know that there’s more to life than the daily grind.

Ready to make some changes? We should talk.

Much love XXX

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