With winter finally subsiding (minus those few April days when I stared at snowflakes fluttering around my sweatered body in utter horror) I decided that this was the month to get active again. Active as in regularly active – not just on the rare occasion that I felt like getting up.
I know how much better I feel when I work out. I know how good yoga is for my soul and to calm a messy state of mind. I know how easy it is to get up in the morning when I’ve been jogging regularly and how invigorating it is to feel my feet hitting the ground as I make my way through the city.
So I set my alarm early every morning and declared April to be the month when Corinne got her fitness groove back.
But instead, I faced massive resistance. Massive, brick wall resistance. And I wasn’t able to think my way out of this one – my brain didn’t want to hear it.
I yoga’ed way less than I wanted to because when my alarm went off some mornings, there were times where I just didn’t feel like it. There were times when I opted to sit on the couch to watch an episode of Lost (currently on repeat on Netflix – of which I’m utterly addicted to) instead of going for a jog outdoors on those ideal weather evenings. Looking back now I realize that what I ended up with was a month filled with procrastination and frustration with myself. And at the heart of it – anger.
I was angry at myself for putting things off.
I was angry for not achieving the goals I set for myself.
I was angry that my body didn’t easily get back on the fitness wagon after having fallen off of it for months.
We feel angry when the world doesn’t live up to our expectations.
We feel angry when we have an idea of how people, places or things should be for us and they turn out differently. When we get angry, frustrated or try to change things, we give away our power to something outside of our control.
While spring is symbolic of new beginnings and fresh starts, in traditional Chinese medicine, we learn that the predominant emotion felt during this time of year is anger. Along with the change in season, comes a change in light and dark – the yin and yang energies.
Anger is powerful if we can harness it.
It’s a call from our soul to reflect on what’s happening around us and understand where our mindset, beliefs and perspectives are stuck. To realize where we need to move in our lives – what needs to shift to make way for the new. And so this urban hippy has decided to instead gracefully flip the bird to perfection.
I let go of my need to be perfect.
I let go of my tendency to be hard on myself when I don’t fulfill lofty objectives.
I let go of my need to do everything perfectly – right here, right now.
Instead, I choose to lean into my goals. I choose to set them high, try my absolute best and allow myself space to grow into them.
I allow myself time.
My focus is patience and kindness to myself in the pursuit of my goals.
What do you need to shift? What mindsets are no longer serving you? I would love to hear your comments below.
And be kind to yourself. You’re the only you that you’ve got.
Much love, XXX