I dunno about you but there’s been a lot of shifting, changing and craziness happening lately. Ladies and gentlemen, the proverbial shit has hit the fan. Can I get an amen?!
Six months ago, I decided to throw caution to the wind and make my business my full time endeavour. Living off savings that I carefully stowed away like a squirrel, I declared that come hell or high water, I was going to make it work. Well, the universe has been sending me carefully crafted love letters reminding me that Rome wasn’t built in a day (or six months for that matter) and I finally got the message.
I’ve also received a clear message from the gods to move out of my current condo (a flood from the air bnb’s next door was the perfect swift kick to remind me of the nudge I was feeling to move out). And so went my Reiki studio and in came questions about how to move on with my business and how I define ‘home’.
Along with all this came questions, doubts and fears – all bubbling to the surface – as I tried to navigate my way through the myriad of choices and opportunities I had laying at my feet. And to be quite honest with you, along too came an overwhelming sense of failure. Like a ‘what the heck have I been doing for the last year’ kind of feeling where I wondered if I had made all the right moves to get me where I need to go.
You might be wondering why I’m telling you all this. It’s certainly not because I think I’ve got something to brag about. (This whole thing has been far more humbling than I can say). It’s not because I’m looking for sympathy. (I sat in my own muck and reached out when I was ready to ask for support).
It’s because I know I’m not the only one hitting brick walls right now.
It’s because I can see how other people around me are redefining, rediscovering and reimagining their lives. Not necessarily because they want to – but because they have no choice in the matter.
It’s because I know how powerful it can be to hear someone say ‘yeh, I’m going through my own shit too, thanks for getting real with me.’
It’s because I realized that now, more than ever, I need to remind myself to practice what I preach.
It’s the first day of Fall and naturally, things will be changing. The days will get shorter, the air – crisper. The leaves will be turning all wonderful shades of red, yellow, orange and everything in between.
And with this transition, I’ve decided to start all over again – to uncover a fresh slate.
I’m starting with the easy stuff. My ‘stuff’. Like those books I’ve read once and have been collecting dust on my shelves for years now – they’re getting donated to my local library. Like the blazers I’ve been hanging onto in case, one day, I decide that I’m a blazer kind of chick again (I’m so not anymore). Starting with this stuff is easy but it also creates an energy of simplicity. And I certainly could use some simplicity right about now!
Then I’ll move onto other stuff. Like the need to figure things out in my own head when everything feels like it’s falling apart at the seams. Like the need to control things in an attempt to make the hairy and messy parts of life feel a little less stifling. The more I cling to the need to get it all figured out right now, the more I make rash decisions, move in directions out of fear and hush the little voice inside that already knows what I need.
So you with me? Ready to declare a new beginning? A fresh start? A tossing out of the stuff that may have happened recently to knock you off your centre?
Know that you can have it.
Let’s do this.
Much love, XXX