Lately I’ve been very cognizant of the obscene number of times that the word “sorry” comes out of my mouth on any given day when it’s anything but necessary to the situation. I mean, if I accidentally spill my coffee in your lap, that begs an apology. Or if I borrow your book and drop it in the tub (true story) I’m gonna apologize (and promptly buy you a replacement copy). (Please refer to one of my previous posts entitled Being Real, Or, Why I’m Proud To Be A Hot Mess for further context – there’s a reason why my last name Korytkowski has been affectionately re-dubbed Koryt-klutz-ski within the family, but I digress).
Other than times like this though, honestly. How often do we apologize for our actions or choices? How many times do we feel like we need to appease the people around us and feel utter remorse when we don’t live up to their expectations? How often do we apologize because we do something uncharacteristic of what people expect/need/want of us and surprise others by changing our minds, our opinions, our decisions, or *gasp* changing ourselves to become happier people.
These apologies we deliver, often based in fear and rooted in guilt, drain our energy reserves by the very fact that we allow them to fall from our lips simply because:
We are under no obligation to make sense to the people around us. We owe no one an explanation or reason as to why we are who we are and choose to do what we choose to do.
And in the spirit of being confident in being ourselves, I’m going throw out the Urban Dictionary’s definition of a badass as an, “Ultra-cool motherfucker.” To me, that’s about being yourself – wholly, unapologetically and authentically – you.
You give yourself the permission to change into whatever you want, whenever you want.
You don’t seek permission or external validation – anyone to tell you “good job” or “you’re on the right track”.
You trust that your heart knows what it wants and needs.
There’s no need to hide.
There’s no need to fake friendliness, kindness or connection. You either connect or you don’t. No biggie. Move on.
It’s ok to lose your way and take the long and winding path. It’s ok to occasionally forget your divine fucking beauty so long as you listen when your soul is trying to remind you of said beauty and is gently nudging you back onto the path of least resistance back to who you are. ‘Cuz you’re light, you know? Unicorns, sparkles and all that ish too.
It’s ok to get deep with people you trust on a soul level and say the things that make you blush as they tumble into the world as words, thoughts, emotions, perspectives and memories.
It’s ok to choose not to get deep with people who just. don’t. get. you. Move on.
It’s ok to push back. Make your stamp on this world. Take your place on the stage. Own your talents. Embrace your skills. Strut your stuff. Know that you make a difference simply by being you.
It’s ok to laugh at ourselves. It’s healthy. It’s sexy to own up to our neuroses.
After all, growth is about unloading the weight we picked up when we began to carry the things the world tried to convince us we needed to hang onto – the shame, the guilt, the remorse – the things that cloud our perceptions of own remarkable selves.