We toss these terms around when we talk about what real and solid connections are made of and there’s a lot of merit in being wholly open with the people in our lives. When we share from a space of authenticity and vulnerability, we’re speaking to the very things that bind us all. We’re sharing thoughts, feelings and impressions about the deep-seated fears and desires that we don’t always easily divulge and in turn, we connect on a level of truth and trust.
We connect on an authentic level when we trust another soul enough to say the things that are hard to say.
We connect when we admit to the things that make us feel weak, confused, embarrassed or lost in this world and when we admit to the things we fear the most.
Rather than pretend that everything’s perfectly a-ok, we recognize that there’s something we need to face – a hurdle to overcome, something we aspire to, a fear to annihilate – and when we say it out loud, we take ownership of it. We take our power back. We own it for what it is and we begin to see ourselves in others when we begin to realize that we’re all afraid of something and often the same things.
But here’s what we need to remember when we think about being vulnerable, real and raw:
When we constantly repeat our fears – hoping to connect – we begin to weave those fears into stories and stories stick. Stories imprint in our DNA.
When we sit too long with the stories we tell ourselves, they become truth and no longer something to overcome or move beyond. They become part of our identity.
When we sit too long with these stories, we’ll often feel weighed down, defeated, restless and constricted. And when we begin to recognize that something has to give – that something has to change – these stories creep in as we’re trying to move along without them, reminding us why we can’t do what we know we need to do.
We need to recognize our fears for what they are and share them with someone we trust wholeheartedly with the intention to set them free. To let them go. To move ahead.
There’s magic in setting an intention to release and move beyond our fears. There’s magic in grabbing someone we trust, looking them square in the eyes and saying:
I’m afraid to…
leave this relationship
quit this job
accept this promotion
create this piece of art
take a chance on love
don’t know what I’m doing
am afraid I might make the wrong choice
don’t think anyone cares
might get hurt
might have to do some really, really hard work
But once we say it, we must do so heart-fully, honestly and with intention.
Let the words brush our lips so as not to make a firm defining statement about ourselves but rather express it to allow it to leave our bodies.
And then keep going.