I Dreamt of You Last Night

When you took me by the hand
I knew there was something important
you needed me to know
about the in-between space I find myself in 
and the unknowing
that’s beginning
to fill me with fear
of what’s next.

“Life is funny that way,” you said
“you have to cradle contradictory notions
in your heart
at the same time:
that while everything will work out
in the end
you can’t have it all figured out
all the time
that sometimes the things you love the most
were never meant to be yours
and sometimes
the things you wanted most of all
aren’t what you need.”

As my eyes filled with tears
you reminded me
of what I already know
deep down:
that we hoomans are notoriously bad
at knowing
what will make us happy
even though
it often feels like
is one long journey to find happiness.

“Stop searching,” you said.

“Looking for happiness in external
doesn’t make sense
when you are already
you need.”

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