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Authenticity Creativity Relationship

Incubation, Creation + Healing

August 11, 2017

I made you something. And it’s almost ready to share.

I’ve been finding it difficult to return to my laptop every week and squeeze out a post over the last couple of months. Partly because I’ve been working on something that had to split me in half before I could possibly put myself back together again but mostly because I needed the space to heal.

As you may know, on April 16, 2017 (the date is permanently etched in my DNA) my father passed away. We didn’t have the ideal father/daughter relationship. And we definitely weren’t close. Nevertheless, our connection (or lack thereof) shaped me into the person I am today.

Something shifted in me as he was dying.
Everything changed when he passed.

As I began to reflect on things from a distanced perspective, I began to see the different ways that my relationship with him had influenced my actions, choices, and opinion of myself in this world. I began to see how much of who I am today is the result of our blemished bond and that this imperfection is part of what makes me complicated, sensitive, strong, compassionate, and independent – all at the same time. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d like to abandon the way we throw terms like “daddy issues” and “mommy issues” around as a way to debase each other. I mean really. Who doesn’t have “issues” because of someone, or something, or other?

I’d like to eliminate any judgement we have about how we’ve been affected by our past
and instead
embrace that at times we’re fractured, desolate, vulnerable, and raw
– often painfully so –
and that at those times
it’s not about what happened to us or who did what
but rather:
how we choose to move beyond it all.

And so. I hermited. I tucked myself into a safe space to create and when I was ready, and the time was right, the words began to flow. There was no stopping the process as long as I let what needed to be said move through me. As long as I stepped out of my own way and stopped judging myself for what I was feeling. And as long as I realized that this process was distinctly my own – necessary, heartbreaking, and beautiful.

And I want to share my art with you.

Over the next week, I’ll be finalizing my first book: a self-published poetic narrative that moves through reflections on love, death, and healing.

I’m hoping you feel something.
I’m hoping we see a bit of ourselves in each other.
I’m hoping we connect…
…not necessarily through identical experiences – but through a common resonance with what it means to be human. What it means to love. What it means to fall apart. And what it means to heal.

Stay tuned. I’ll let you know when it’s ready to order. And as always, send you mad love for every precious minute you devote to supporting me, my words, and my art.

Because as much as I may think I write for myself – I write for you.

Lifestyle Relationship

The Business of Love

May 30, 2017

We’re so often oversold on grand expressions of romantic love.
As if the only kind of true love that exists
is defined by shiny engagement rings
picture perfect smiles and interactions
dreamy sweep-you-off-your-feet expressions of emotion and
happily-ever-after endings.

But what about the subtle expressions of love?

What about the fact that love takes many forms
and that sometimes
it’s perfect simply because of its imperfection.

What about the fact that love is patient.
Patient enough to weather the storms
that inevitably come and go over time –
defined by moments of loss
boredom
complication
confusion
and occasionally not-so-loving feelings.
And what about the feeling of finding your way home to love
when you think you’ve lost yourself
in the mundane
and the routine –
only to find yourself again in the eyes of someone who loves you despite it all?

But real life doesn’t sell well does it?
It’s not shiny and new forever
and eventually
the novelty wears off
and we have to remind ourselves
that while they may not be perfect
our real versions of love
are perfect enough for us.

xoxo

Authenticity Relationship Spirituality Wellness

New Moon Intentions: A Call To Inviting Ease And Flow Into Our Lives

May 24, 2017

Do things need to be difficult to be worth it?
Do we have to claim our greatest achievements by their corresponding weight and struggle?
Do blood, sweat, and tears have to be the elements by which we define the importance of our actions?
And does pain have to equal gain?

What ever happened to ease?
To focusing on the moments, people, places, and things that make us feel connected, inspired, and whole?
What happened to flow?
To working, living, and breathing in spaces where we feel in sync, settled, understood, seen, and heard?
To finding gratitude for the souls who get us and support our movement in this world?
What happened to being real and not competing with each other about who’s busier, more tired, most drained and most anxious?

Gratitude for the good that falls into our laps without us having to control things.
Cheers to the people who find their way into our lives to lift us up and drag us out of routine, the hustle, and the grind.
Knowing that the more we appreciate the good, simplicity, and a natural unfolding of events – we invite more of the same. The more we grow. The more we settle into a solid sense of self and a sense of calm that can only lead to more ease. Oh. And more love.

xoxo Happy New Moon.

Relationship

How To Deal With Unwanted Visitors

May 9, 2017

Sadness breezed in the other day.
In the muddle of the morning hours
she hindered my otherwise tranquil routine
by listlessly dumping the contents of her baggage
on my living room floor.
Knowing that ignoring her
would only mean
that she’d return another time
I offered her a seat as
she languidly took me on a journey through the past –
moving meticulously
through details
of regret
of moments lost
of unrealized possibilities.
And when the dark felt too deep
the chasm between myself and reality – too vast
I asked her to pack up her things and leave.
As she sulked away
I knew she would be back
and so I let her go with love.

Anger showed up on my doorstep
uninvited
unwanted
unreserved.
He parked his car
haphazardly in my shared driveway
with no regard for the neighbours
and proceeded to follow me persistently up the stairs.
As we made our way to the landing
he stood resolute
while fear cowered quietly in his shadow.
One hardly traveled without the other, I noticed.
Each made stronger through their bond.
And when I knew our conversation
was leading nowhere
as we ran circles around each other’s thoughts
with no resolution in sight
I asked them to go.
After much protest
they left muttering under their breath.
I knew they would be back
and so I let them go with love.

xoxo