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Authenticity, Relationship, Spirituality, Wellness

New Moon Intentions: A Call To Inviting Ease And Flow Into Our Lives

Do things need to be difficult to be worth it?
Do we have to claim our greatest achievements by their corresponding weight and struggle?
Do blood, sweat, and tears have to be the elements by which we define the importance of our actions?
And does pain have to equal gain?

What ever happened to ease?
To focusing on the moments, people, places, and things that make us feel connected, inspired, and whole?
What happened to flow?
To working, living, and breathing in spaces where we feel in sync, settled, understood, seen, and heard?
To finding gratitude for the souls who get us and support our movement in this world?
What happened to being real and not competing with each other about who’s busier, more tired, most drained and most anxious?

Gratitude for the good that falls into our laps without us having to control things.
Cheers to the people who find their way into our lives to lift us up and drag us out of routine, the hustle, and the grind.
Knowing that the more we appreciate the good, simplicity, and a natural unfolding of events – we invite more of the same. The more we grow. The more we settle into a solid sense of self and a sense of calm that can only lead to more ease. Oh. And more love.

xoxo Happy New Moon.

Relationship

How To Deal With Unwanted Visitors

Sadness breezed in the other day.
In the muddle of the morning hours
she hindered my otherwise tranquil routine
by listlessly dumping the contents of her baggage
on my living room floor.
Knowing that ignoring her
would only mean
that she’d return another time
I offered her a seat as
she languidly took me on a journey through the past –
moving meticulously
through details
of regret
of moments lost
of unrealized possibilities.
And when the dark felt too deep
the chasm between myself and reality – too vast
I asked her to pack up her things and leave.
As she sulked away
I knew she would be back
and so I let her go with love.

Anger showed up on my doorstep
uninvited
unwanted
unreserved.
He parked his car
haphazardly in my shared driveway
with no regard for the neighbours
and proceeded to follow me persistently up the stairs.
As we made our way to the landing
he stood resolute
while fear cowered quietly in his shadow.
One hardly traveled without the other, I noticed.
Each made stronger through their bond.
And when I knew our conversation
was leading nowhere
as we ran circles around each other’s thoughts
with no resolution in sight
I asked them to go.
After much protest
they left muttering under their breath.
I knew they would be back
and so I let them go with love.

xoxo

Authenticity, Relationship, Spirituality

The World. Tipping Points. Simplicity And Some Other Things I Believe.

I believe the world will feed us a hundred ways in which to frame ourselves as inadequate.
And incomplete.
Only to turn around and sell us on a person, place, or thing to make us whole again.
And fill that void.
I believe our job is to weed through the muck and the lies to find our own truth.
Our own place in this world.
Our own voice.
And to find a space to dwell where we are complete within and of ourselves.
Where we see that those external things are merely extras in the big picture.

I believe the world is waking up.
That the deep chasm we see in the collective conscious will bring us to a tipping point.
A tipping point marking a shift in perspective. A tipping point sparking change.
A tipping point inciting destruction.
A tipping point initiating rebirth.

I believe that
sometimes
we self-sabotage by inviting complexity where we crave simplicity.
I believe this simplicity lives in our breath.
In our conscious movement.
In slowing the fuck down.
In love.

I believe we hang tight to our chests, some of the very things that would be best let go of.
Because sometimes we know no other way.
Because, sometimes – when we try something new – we can surprise ourselves.
And find the wholeness we were searching for all along.

I believe that forgiveness is healing.
And that forgiveness takes many forms.
But when we’re ready.
And the weight lifts.
And we breathe easier.
We’re reminded of our true essence.
And that
is unshakeable.

I believe that opportunities to heal come in the most obscure forms.
Through conversations that shift our perspective.
Through relationships that create safe spaces.
And that healing occurs when we shut off our brains and open our hearts.

xo

Post image from Instagram. Source unknown.
Authenticity, Relationship

At The Risk Of Oversharing, There’s Something I Want You To Know

I’ve always been conscious of not ‘oversharing’ through my writing. While I think it’s important to allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable, I also recognize that we don’t have to share absolutely everything, all the time. And when you’re putting yourself out to people you’ve likely never met in person, or haven’t talked to in a while, some things are best left with those closest to us. Until you realize that not sharing could mean that you’re not starting the conversations that lead to healing.

Since 2016, I’ve been working through the rollercoaster of emotions that have come with watching my father’s health rapidly deteriorate. My dad and I have never been very close and while at one point, I may have thought that meant it would be ‘easier’ to move through this, it hasn’t been. In fact, it’s been tougher than I ever could have possibly imagined. If I’m being brutally honest, I never really knew my father. I grew up in the same house with him but we didn’t talk much, at least, not about the things that really mattered. My father is an alcoholic and it took me a long time to be able to say that out loud without a trembling whisper taking over my voice.

I saw my father through the lens of his drinking and depression, through the lens of my misunderstandings of him, and through the lens of a young girl who just wanted to be loved and for her dad to be ‘normal’.

Seeing him delicately close to death and knowing his body has become weaker, his mind: frazzled, and his thoughts: disconnected, has been tough. Really tough. Feeling helpless, unable to ‘fix’ things or make it right has been tough. Really tough. But at the same time, while things have been strained between us and I’ve often felt it impossible to understand the motivations behind what he did (and didn’t do) I do know that we, as a family, have him to thank for our lives today. He pushed to get us to Canada and had it not been for his perseverance, I wouldn’t be living the life I love now and I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Reframing the story has helped me make peace with where we’re at. I’ve had to build in the fact that he was, and is, struggling with things I can’t fully understand – and likely never will. I’ve had to realize that he will never show me love the way I would like him to but that he’s been doing the best he can, with what he knows. I’ve had to come face-to-face with knowing that forgiveness of him begins with me forgiving myself. I’ve realized that how he treated others was a reflection of his own lack of love for himself and that I can rewrite the past by imprinting love for him, my family, and me – now, today, and here.

For those reaching for love, I hear you.
For those trying to connect and to be understood, I see you.
For those healing from heartache, I love you.
Know that you’re not alone.
Know that the dark brings light.
Know that this too shall pass.