You say I’m too sensitive –
too apt to feel too much.
Well I’d rather recognize
every awkward, uneasy
and uncomfortable moment
every blow and misfortune.
I choose to feel
not to commiserate
to acknowledge the truth
for what it is.
With every tear I shed
I release the weight
that often makes it hard to breathe
and I teach myself
to love myself
As I release
I learn that the guilt
and the blame
isn’t worth clinging to and
I teach myself
to judge myself
And as I began to face the dark
I noticed that
the sun began to shine brighter
my love began to burn deeper
my days took on more meaning
and not because this was necessarily inevitable
I chose my new perspective.
And so, you see,
you may believe I feel too much
but I’d rather head dive
into the spectrum of feelings
available to me
than merely dip my toes in
for fear of feeling too much
Promise me that you’ll never stop feeding your sense of curiosity – that feeling you get with the very idea of inviting something new into your life that makes you partly excited and a little bit scared because you’re being stretched beyond what you already know to be true, what’s comfortable, stable and proven.
Promise me that you’ll treat yourself kindly. That you’ll refrain from judging, overanalyzing and condemning yourself for being yourself – regardless of whether you’ve made the ‘right’ decisions, took the ‘right’ step or made the ‘right’ call.
Promise me that you’ll take care of your body. That you’ll recognize that every time you do something kind for yourself, you say a small prayer of gratitude for being alive.
Promise me that you’ll share yourself with those you love. That you’ll take a chance, open up and allow your truth to fall from your lips and into the lap of someone who sees you for who you are and loves you even more for it.
Promise me that you won’t ignore your soul – that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you need to pursue a dream or live a vision of yourself that others may not necessarily understand or agree with – that you’ll trust in yourself even when others appear to have given up.
Promise me that you’ll always remember that you’re not like anyone else and that’s precisely what makes you fucking beautiful.
We’ve all been there. After making a choice to do something we know we need for our own happiness / sanity / serenity / growth, a foreboding sense of guilt begins to slowly creep in.
We leave the person who hooked us up in our career. We end a relationship on its last legs because we know deep down we’re simply not connecting anymore. We leave the kids with a sitter to treat ourselves to a day at the spa.
After weeks of dreading about having to stick to plans we booked and knew we weren’t really feeling in the first place, we bow out gracefully. We do too much. We don’t do enough.
All of these situations express our need to feel more free in our lives.
When we feel guilty, it’s a call from our soul to move more freely, choose more freely and be more real and open about our own needs and desires. It’s a call to set boundaries, expectations and speak from a place of authenticity.
We reach for more. We work harder. We work less. We reach our goals. We do more than people expected of us or ever thought could be achievable for themselves.
Some of us live with a constant sense of guilt because we know no other way. How could we possibly NOT feel guilty about doing something that feeds our ambition, soul or desires? Maybe we grew up in a household where guilt pervaded everything we did.
So then, we begin to feel guilty about feeling guilty. And so goes the vicious cycle.
We need to pause for a minute and recognize that, rather than trying to eviscerate the guilt or trying to ignore it, we need to simply let it be and let it go. We won’t magically start feeling less guilty one day.
We’re going to feel guilty. It’s literally the price we pay for being brave and acting on behalf of our soul. So I guess what I’m saying is that I’d rather feel guilty than feel nothing at all.