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Authenticity

Authenticity, Creativity

Not Waiting For Perfection: The Launch of My Book

So I finally self-published my first book (not my last, I promised myself). The initial proof wasn’t what I wanted it to be. The size and feel: something was off. And the cover art was less than professional-looking. And so I tweaked. With the second proof, things felt better but there was something funky happening on one of the pages. A minor detail that, to this day, I can’t seem to ‘fix’. It finally went live on Amazon and with the cover image still not uploaded to the listing, I sat here thinking that I couldn’t let the world know about it until that little detail was fixed – until it was all just right. I was waiting for perfection. And that’s when I reminded myself that waiting for perfection often means we’ll be waiting forever.

So here it goes. I made you something. And it’s ready for you. It’s flawed. It’s raw. It’s extremely uncomfortable to put out in the world because it’s so close to my tender heart. And that’s precisely why I want to share it with you. Now.

Grab a copy. And if you love it, share it with others who can relate to it. And if you love it, I would be eternally grateful if you could leave a comment and rating on Amazon to get it out there some more. Because I truly believe that the more we share ourselves with others – the more we’re vulnerable, open, real, and raw – the more we encourage others to open up and share. And sharing is healing.

xoxo

 

Authenticity, Learning, Relationship

We Often Know What We Want. We Barely Know What We Need.

Have you ever ran from someone, some place, or something, thinking that you’d end up somewhere better – only to find that your new destination came with its own set of complexities and obstacles and ended up being more trouble than it was worth? And that perhaps where you were previously was the better option for you? Sometimes we buy into the idea that the grass is greener on the other side, only to realize that our lawn was actually pretty fab. What we want doesn’t always balance with what we need.

I’ve been saying for years that I’ve wanted to publish a book. As satisfying as it was to have the proof copy of my book in my hands, when people asked me about it, I found that while I would talk about the end product – the meat of that book of personal struggles and reflections – more often than not, I talked about the process. I talked about how it began as a series of random thoughts in my journal, scribbled as I sat on a beach in Jamaica during my vacation back in February. And how these thoughts began to take form when, one day as I was taking my typical wander around the city on a sunny Sunday morning with a coffee in hand, I was hit with a clear message that I needed to park my butt on my rooftop and write. And that when I listened to that pull to tune out of the world and tune into my writing, things just flowed.

While reaching the end goal was certainly satisfying and offered a colossal sense of achievement, there was something far more magical in the movement of getting to that end goal. There was more magic in the discoveries, unfolding, discomfort, and realizations along the way. And that’s often what we take for granted.

Never mind the years of experiences leading up to the point where I could reflect on the last 38 years of my life – the experiences that made me who I am today and infused my writing. Had it not been for learning tough lessons in life, love, and about myself, there would be no book.

There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious and being proud of our accomplishments but accomplishments are truly only sweeter when we learn and grow along the way. Checking those big goals off our lists might be what we really want in life but sometimes when we get there, we’re faced with “what’s next?” and “now what?” Reaching the goal marks the end of the process – and the process is where the beauty lies.

Authenticity, Creativity, Relationship

Incubation, Creation + Healing

I made you something. And it’s almost ready to share.

I’ve been finding it difficult to return to my laptop every week and squeeze out a post over the last couple of months. Partly because I’ve been working on something that had to split me in half before I could possibly put myself back together again but mostly because I needed the space to heal.

As you may know, on April 16, 2017 (the date is permanently etched in my DNA) my father passed away. We didn’t have the ideal father/daughter relationship. And we definitely weren’t close. Nevertheless, our connection (or lack thereof) shaped me into the person I am today.

Something shifted in me as he was dying.
Everything changed when he passed.

As I began to reflect on things from a distanced perspective, I began to see the different ways that my relationship with him had influenced my actions, choices, and opinion of myself in this world. I began to see how much of who I am today is the result of our blemished bond and that this imperfection is part of what makes me complicated, sensitive, strong, compassionate, and independent – all at the same time. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d like to abandon the way we throw terms like “daddy issues” and “mommy issues” around as a way to debase each other. I mean really. Who doesn’t have “issues” because of someone, or something, or other?

I’d like to eliminate any judgement we have about how we’ve been affected by our past
and instead
embrace that at times we’re fractured, desolate, vulnerable, and raw
– often painfully so –
and that at those times
it’s not about what happened to us or who did what
but rather:
how we choose to move beyond it all.

And so. I hermited. I tucked myself into a safe space to create and when I was ready, and the time was right, the words began to flow. There was no stopping the process as long as I let what needed to be said move through me. As long as I stepped out of my own way and stopped judging myself for what I was feeling. And as long as I realized that this process was distinctly my own – necessary, heartbreaking, and beautiful.

And I want to share my art with you.

Over the next week, I’ll be finalizing my first book: a self-published poetic narrative that moves through reflections on love, death, and healing.

I’m hoping you feel something.
I’m hoping we see a bit of ourselves in each other.
I’m hoping we connect…
…not necessarily through identical experiences – but through a common resonance with what it means to be human. What it means to love. What it means to fall apart. And what it means to heal.

Stay tuned. I’ll let you know when it’s ready to order. And as always, send you mad love for every precious minute you devote to supporting me, my words, and my art.

Because as much as I may think I write for myself – I write for you.

Authenticity, Relationship, Spirituality, Wellness

New Moon Intentions: A Call To Inviting Ease And Flow Into Our Lives

Do things need to be difficult to be worth it?
Do we have to claim our greatest achievements by their corresponding weight and struggle?
Do blood, sweat, and tears have to be the elements by which we define the importance of our actions?
And does pain have to equal gain?

What ever happened to ease?
To focusing on the moments, people, places, and things that make us feel connected, inspired, and whole?
What happened to flow?
To working, living, and breathing in spaces where we feel in sync, settled, understood, seen, and heard?
To finding gratitude for the souls who get us and support our movement in this world?
What happened to being real and not competing with each other about who’s busier, more tired, most drained and most anxious?

Gratitude for the good that falls into our laps without us having to control things.
Cheers to the people who find their way into our lives to lift us up and drag us out of routine, the hustle, and the grind.
Knowing that the more we appreciate the good, simplicity, and a natural unfolding of events – we invite more of the same. The more we grow. The more we settle into a solid sense of self and a sense of calm that can only lead to more ease. Oh. And more love.

xoxo Happy New Moon.