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Authenticity

Authenticity Relationship Spirituality

Letter From Your Future

March 24, 2016

Dear Human,

Remember how your entire being ached after you lost in love? You vowed you couldn’t possibly ever open up again in the same way. You guarded yourself and tread carefully with matters of the heart. But I was there to give you time to heal, distance to gain perspective and strength to move on.

Remember when you would wake up restless in the middle of the night, your mind racing as you worried about your mounting bills? You felt like you were missing out, lacking something and struggling to survive. Yet you always had a roof over your head, solid ground under your feet and food on the table. You may not have had the biggest or fanciest house or lavish gourmet bites but I was always there to protect, support and nourish you.

Remember when you doubted that your body intuitively knows what it needs? When you dismissed how energizing it can be to stretch your muscles, walk, eat healthy, and breathe deeply. When you could see sickness and lethargy creeping in and instead of heeding the signs, you moved through your days as if nothing was wrong. When you could feel your thoughts reflecting your scattered energy. Yet here you are. You woke up this morning, you walked to work. You didn’t have to ask your body to get you to where you needed to be. You just got there.

There was a time when you felt like you had to have everything figured out. Here’s the thing: you can’t possibly have everything figured out and you’re not supposed to. Your experiences, the things that happen to and around you that make you feel something in the moment, and how you move through them all – that matters.

There was a time when you were obsessed about “finding your passion and purpose” in this world. Passion. Purpose. Those are just labels you use that actually complicate things that can be so very simple.

Does it feel good? Does it light you up? Does it make you spring from bed in the morning to check in and work? Do you fall naturally into flow and lose track of all time as you dive into it? Do you love it? Then go do it.

You don’t need to “find” anything. Your passion and purpose aren’t elusively hiding under a rock. You just need to be and allow things to unfold naturally. Recognize what feels right and trust that the more you make choices based on how you feel, the better you’ll get at knowing where to focus your attention and what to let go of. Don’t try to figure everything out. Just feel everything. Be. Love.

There will be times when you break down and question it all. There will be moments when hearing that ‘everything happens for a reason’ will positively infuriate you in the face of death, loss, sickness and struggle. But I promise you – in even your lowest moments and darkest times – when you think that you’re alone and there’s no rhyme or reason, there’s an invisible thread connecting your experiences resulting in the person you are today. And you’re fucking beautiful.

The point is to try not to busy your mind with over-analyzing and worrying about possible outcomes. Experience your unique experiences. Sit with the emotions. Refrain from judgement. Move through it all. Do everything with love.

Comparison will only rid you of your own personal growth and happiness.

And then.
One day.
You’ll find yourself in some place new, doing something that feels like home. And when your mind is at peace with yourself, your choices and your surroundings, I promise you that you’ll begin to see that invisible thread. And it won’t be about understanding it but rather, accepting it. Being thankful for it. And knowing that the less you try and the more you just be yourself – kinks, contradictions and all – the more things will continue to fall into place.

With mad, mad love,

The Universe XX

Authenticity Creativity Learning Lifestyle Relationship Wellness

Join us on March 5th for My Epoch

February 23, 2016

Grab your tickets! A chiropractor, an actor, one clinical psychologist, a reluctant extrovert and an aspiring entrepreneur come together to bring you My Epoch.

There is an emerging desire for authentic connections through quality conversations.

This series of events was created to free ourselves from cognitive and emotional rigidity thereby enhancing our sense of control, focus and pleasure.

Learning, sharing and celebrating in a novel environment will be the catalyst for better choices and behaviours.

The inaugural event is a balance of coherence, intrigue and provocation that is beautifully curated.

Welcome to My Epoch.

epŸ och: /epək/

A moment.

A process.

An attitude.

A period of time in your life marked by a notable shared event. Engage in an opportunity to network, not work.

Stay a Seeker.

The Evening’s Speakers:

Dr. Mehran Tabrizi. Chiropractor & Osteopathy. Movility Founder. A Brain New Way To Be.

Dennis McCormac. Scientist/Creator. Converging art and science to open minds and educate the public in an accessible way. Genotype – Phenotype – Denotype…Are you my type?

Dr. Stacy Thomas. Clinical Psychologist.  Design Your Life.

Greg Hum. Student Affairs Practitioner. Adventure seeker. Geek. Adventures Of A Reluctant Extrovert.

Corinne K. Change Catalyst. Content Creator. Embracing Imperfect Success.

Zach Smadu. Professional Actor. Freelance Athlete. Maker of things both tangible and elusive. Life-Hacks From Acting.

Complimentary appetizers and drinks.

Dress Code: Look good. Feel good.

 

Authenticity Learning Wellness

The Ever-So-Fine Art of Not Giving A F**k

January 27, 2016

I’m not sure if it’s the breadth of experiences I’ve had in the last couple of years or the fact that I’m getting older (I surmise that it’s a combination of the two) but as time goes by, I’m really starting to understand the concept of not giving a f**k. I mean, I’ve always agreed that you can’t please everyone all the time on an intellectual level but now, I feel it deep in my bones. The very cells of my body delight when I recognize that I’m actually implementing this attitude in my daily life.

I am hands down a people pleaser. I’ve always been one to be sure that the people I interact with are taken care of in a situation. While this empathy has served me well in life and work, it’s also contributed to a lot of my unhappiness. I’ve said yes in cases where every inch of my being was screaming no, only to look back and think, “I knew that was a bad idea”. I’ve taken on more work than I was able to handle and found myself waking up at 2am tossing in a cold sweat worrying about my insurmountable to-do list and unattainable deadlines. I’ve replayed past conversations in my head, rehearsing what I would say the next time the same situation arose, wasting precious energy and time on things that I can’t change.

So what’s a people pleaser to do?

I’m not saying that I now run around being a jerk to everyone, tossing expletives in refusal whenever I’m asked to do something I’m not really interested in. However, I do think there’s something ridiculously gratifying and freeing in caring less about what other people think and more about what I need personally.

So instead of always putting others ahead of myself and caring more about people’s opinions than my own needs, I check in. A lot.

I check in with myself when I’m feeling anxious to see what’s really going on. Am I having a private conversation with myself about a situation at hand? Am I worrying about stuff that hasn’t even happened yet? Am I having second thoughts about a decision I’ve made because perhaps I clung to a choice in haste, without reviewing all the angles? Am I creating mountains out of molehills or is there something I can do to alleviate my anxiety in that space and time?

I check in with myself when I feel tension in my body. Is there something around me that’s making me feel uncomfortable? Is there something I can change in that moment to feel better and reduce the tension? Can I make a mental note of what I can do differently another time to reduce my discomfort? Our bodies are amazing gauges for the things that we might not be dealing with head-on. Those things manifest in sickness, muscle tension, aches and pains.

I check in with myself when my mind is going 100 miles an hour and I can’t seem to focus. Is there something I’m missing? Am I getting lost in details and not looking at the big picture? Am I losing sight of the good things happening and instead, focusing on the negatives?

And finally, I check in with myself when I’m feeling good. I check in when I’m feeling uplifted, inspired, enlightened and amused. And those times?

I make a mental note of the things that make me feel good – the people, places, things and situations that I know I need more of in my life. I check in and give the universe a nod and say aloud or to myself, “I’ll take more of that please!”

Because not giving a f**k is about letting go of the things that aren’t working for us, worrying less about what other people think and having honest (and sometimes awkward) conversations where we express our true feelings and intentions.

But not giving a f**k is also about embracing the things that we love and going out to do more of that stuff. It’s also about recognizing that those awesome things might not work for other people but that doesn’t make them any less important or vital to our own happiness.

Not giving a f**k is about knowing that we all have our own path to trod, on our own time, in our own space.

Not giving a f**k is about knowing that only we know what’s right for us and that we owe it to ourselves to do more of that stuff.

And the people, places and things that fall off on the way to becoming more of who we are? They weren’t meant to be. The people, places and things that support us through it all? They’re gold. Magic. Love. Worth investing energy and time into. Worth giving a f**k about.

xo

Authenticity Spirituality Wellness

January Blahs, Ketchup Chips and Real Conversations

January 20, 2016

Midnight on New Year’s Eve came in with a bang. Donned with fresh red matte lipstick, I shared champagne toasts, bear hugs and well wishes with friends. But to be quite honest with you, the last couple of weeks have been kinda just ‘meh’. The bang of the excitement of a new year was followed by a whimper and then a drawn-out sigh.

I was sapped of energy and all I really wanted to do was sit on the couch, watch crappy reality TV and munch on Lay’s ketchup chips. And so. That’s what I did. But, I also kindly reminded myself of something. As incredibly satisfying as that cozy couch-lounging, TV-watching, chip-mowing behaviour felt in the moment, I knew it wasn’t going to help much in the long run. So as the blasé of the days passed, I tried to get back on track with my own make-myself-feel-good checklist.

Slowly, I gently began to return to my daily seated position as I took some quiet time for myself and closed my eyes to hush the continuous critic that was telling me that I had to get myself back into gear. See that’s the thing – I got lost in the dialogue that somehow I had to drag myself out of my funk. Here. Now. And I was hard on myself about it. Until I took those breaths and reminded myself that:

A funk, is a funk, is a funk. And a funk too shall pass. [Tweet that.]

And I let it move through me – in every way possible. I let the discourse drift into and out of my head. I gave myself the permission to have those thoughts but I vowed to be conscious about not feeding them, growing them, allowing them to expand and take over my energy. I have a dishwasher but instead of stacking it daily, I washed my dishes. And when I washed them, I washed them. I began to giggle at the voice that was incessantly yelling to ‘snap out of it already!’ – the one that was attempting to pull my attention away from that stuck, cooked-on piece of food that needed to be scraped and washed down the drain. Instead, I chose to just be, feeling the warm water on my skin. I chose to be aware of the dishwashing liquid bubbles glistening on the surface of the greasy mess I was cleaning up.

I reorganized the drawers in my home – the ones that I had to forcefully shove shut because they were far too full with stuff that I barely (never) use. I got rid of the things that I knew I’d never need. I turned on some music and cleaned the nooks and crannies of my living spaces, dancing and belting lyrics on the top of my lungs while I re-arranged some items and furniture – a physical symbol of the fact that sometimes you just need a fresh look at things.

Sometimes you need to clean out the energy in a space, create a new layout and let something else come to rest.

And then I took note of the things that lifted me most. And I consciously chose to keep doing those things. And y’know what topped the list? Raw conversations – the things you share that make you blush to admit because you’re holding yourself to some unrealistic standard. Because somehow you’ve convinced yourself that you’re the only one who’s experienced shame about something in your life.

Like the one I had with a group of amazing women where we shared thoughts about how much pressure we put on ourselves to have positively everything figured out in our lives. Like when I admitted aloud that I married a man in my mid-twenties despite my gut crying out that we just weren’t a good match shortly after we met. And how I found myself newly-divorced and single again at the age of 29, bawling my eyes out on my bedroom floor with a bottle of vino and my two cats. Or those separate conversations I had with heart-centred entrepreneurs – each of us insisting for the last couple of years that we had to follow our hearts and stubbornly pave our own way in the work world – only to admit to each other that (gasp) it’s time to get a job to help support ourselves.

In all these situations, I judged myself. “I can’t say that”, I thought. “What if I lose credibility? What if I get laughed at or blank stares? What if no one gets me? What if I’m the only one?”

And it hit me when a good friend looked me dead in the eye with sincerity and empathy and said, “I can’t believe you were afraid to tell me that.” I smiled meekly and whispered, “I wasn’t afraid to tell you. I was afraid to admit it to myself.”


Tell me something new.
Tell me something real.
Something I haven’t heard before and a million times over.
I don’t want to make small talk about the weather.
Don’t say, “I’m fine, thanks” robotically when I ask how you are when clearly you’re not.
I want to know about what’s tearing you down.
What’s weighing on your mind.
Then I want us to remind each other of what has broken us down in the past and how we picked ourselves up again.
I want to have real conversations about our successes and our failures.
Your experience – while it may be similar to mine – is unique.
Beautiful.
Inspiring.
We learn from each other when we strip off all pretences. When we rid ourselves of the need to fit in. Label ourselves. Categorize our desires and goals.
We realize that we’re really not that different after all.
Let’s challenge each other to move forward.
Shift. Grow.
It might be uncomfortable but it’s so damn worth it.